Am I My Sister's Keeper?(A Suffering Sister as A Carer)

Ever heard of Cain and Abel? Cain murdered his brother out of utter jealousy. When God who knew, but asked him still where was his brother; the question spilled out of his mouth, 'Am I my brother's keeper? ` If you haven't read the Bible ,this article is still meant for you. I won't force you to read it. I just can so connect the heart of Cain to that of our society towards people with Mental Illness.

Image sourche:(https://images.app.goo.gl/Kh1g3wQ5z37zVYwq6)

A Depiction : Cain Killed Abel

Let me introduce you to a friend whom I share a lot of common interests , including this whole MH (Mental Health) advocacy. I met her in the work place am on. And meeting her was an affirmation that this advocacy is assigned to me ,like many of us. As for beshie (the term we fondly call each other)-I could say that while she seemed to be presented with no choice, she’d answer the question with a smile.

(Weekly Bible Study at Coffee Bean Citadines)

Co-Pilgrim in Faith

In the lens of Mental Health, Maria Kristine Espiel sees herself as a carer a ‘sufferer’ .She has two thriving sisters-her twin with social anxiety disorder , and her youngest sister diagnosed with Bi-polar 1 disorder. For her, having a twin sister,growing up is amazing.Like all good things, it has its boons and banes. She shared, ‘We are compared more frequently to each other, unlike my other siblings.Not to mention, competition is always there.’ On the other hand,she regarded having a shoulder to cry on and a twin sister who's both understood and experienced the same struggle , a great source of consolation.They were classmates from elementary to highschool ; having that said, they share a lot of experiences and many memories from childhood to teen-age years. Being gifted identically-they share the same talent and passion in singing and the arts.They both enjoy language learning, voice acting and impersonations.

(L-Kath, C-Kams, R-Tin drawn by Beshie)

The Espiel Sisters

It’s quite different, with her younger sister.The pressure to act as a responsible and selfless sister is always there. But she sees their baby girl’s response to pressure.She stated, ‘She acted more of an elder sister rather than a younger sister. She was someone I could turn to for advice. When asked of the craziest prank played on their youngest- she used to freak her out whenever she pretends to be a zombie, when they were little.She recalled, ‘The craziest she did was buying me a statement shirt that read: “The Last B*tch Standing”.’

(Drawn by MKE)

Her twins ´ illness started when they were in grade school, while her younger sister´s illness presented itself from 2016 and was diagnosed year 2017.She described,

' In my twins ´case, she reacted to her social anxiety by journaling and still functioning in the corporate world. She reacted to the complication by being so apologetic and depressed at the same time. She felt disappointed with herself and the family. Our family reacted with patience, understanding and praying.'

(Illustrated by Beshie)

Since the twins were both suffering symptoms of social anxiety disorder, they often talked about its manifestation. The illness is strange to the family that she had to explain to their father by comparing the anxiety to a specific phobia. He, in turn;compared it to how he experienced ordinary shyness as a kid, which left her often frustrated . The illness developed into a full blown Paranoia with delusions for the twins. Her twin was taken to a Psychiatrist, who prescribed medication. All along, the family has been very patient with her on the way to recovery.

In their youngest's case, they responded with the medical intervention needed. She related how they honestly failed to empathize with her at first. She remembered how hard it was to tell whether she was just having a normal angry outburst or she was already having a bi-polar episode. They tried to resolve it by continuous processing of past experiences and talking about unresolved childhood issues. It was painful to revisit and relive the past but it was very helpful in making sense of their emotional challenges.

Their youngest's response to her bi-polar diagnosis was that of exceptional bravery and whole-hearted acceptance. She proudly recalled:

'She has, I could say, an Alpha attitude which I admired very much. Our family responded with temporary grief but also with care, patience and understanding. She is clearly a champion of her own battle and an inspiration to many.'

I asked her, 'What would you, as a carer, tell as your twin and youngest sister?Here's what she shared -

` I would like to tell my twin that I am sorry for my lack of patience and that I am more than willing to take part in her journey until she becomes the greatest version of herself.

I would like to tell my younger sister that I feel so grateful for all the times that she became an inspiration not only to me but most importantly to the people she already inspired and will continue to inspire as her journey in life continues on. I would like to congratulate her for the legacy she imparted to the history of mental health and the battle for mental wellness and redefining standards as far as stigma in society is concerned`

I believe Cain's question was rhetoric in nature, as he had his reasons why he shouldn't be his brother's keeper. In line with the cause of mental health, we may have all the justifications to despise people with MI(Mental Illness) , or give them a taste of our apathy. What can be a greater alibi than having Mental Illness? Tin knows by experience that mental illness is emotionally contagious and oftentimes draining, both as a sufferer and a carer. Throughout the whole journey as Carer, she's learned how valuable it is to listen twice as much as she speaks. She knew the weight of that old school cliche-Patience is a virtue.

After reading my friend's story, imagine the title, as self-reflection; not as a rhetoric. My friend has got a lot on her plate in matters of work and social coping.She could have answered ‘No’. But the journey earned her lessons, experiences of grace and love that she can so share to her sisters. I mean why bereave ourselves with those gems? I hope having sojourned to her story,you can say:

'Well! Yes! I'm my sister's (brother's) keeper?'