SUICIDE IN THE CHURCH

May space ba ang suicide sa church?

Puwede ba'ng magka-suicidal thought ang Christian? Ilan kaya ang nagtaas ng kilay while reading this portion? These are the questions I have heard from honestly curious friends, with no harmful intentions, in the church setting. Sana kasama ko sila nung concert na inattendan ko, not too long ago.

That night, All who attended are ‘worshipers’ of Jesus, presumably. But, after the pastor asked that people experiencing suicidal ideations and depression raise their hand – most of the crowd inside Araneta Coliseum had their hands raised.I thought, If this is a macrocosm of the whole Body of Christ in the Philippines;how is the church doing in responding to its people suffering?

Sadly, I had the answer to my question from my own sets of friends(even Christian friends). I heard from my sufferer friends (those struggling from various mental illnesses), different tastes of judgments inside the church; so to them- it will be worse than suicide to go to church. Madidinig lang naman nila ang mga Salita na:

‘Wala ka kasi ng faith kaya ka depressed.’ (You are depressed because you lack faith), As if one is the author of his own faith and God would reject him for lacking something, instead of inviting him/her to ask God to give them faith. As if kasalanan ang magka-genetic diabetes.

I wonder! Ilan sa bayan ni Juan, lalu sa simbahan ang may alam na sakit ang depression?(How many of us Filipinos, specially the people at church knows that depression is an illness?)

Another statement with no harm intended is- ‘Hindi ka nagbabasa ng bibliya Kaya kung ano-anong pumasok sa utak mo.’ (You don't read the Bible, that's why your mind is filled by evil thoughts.), As if there was no man of God who ever lamented to God ( in the bible).

A great number of Psalms was written by David, The Man after God's Own heart. And, a lot of those songs are more than heart breaking. David repeatedly asked the Lord, ‘How long oh Lord…’, even mentioned ‘How long Oh Lord, will you forget me? Forever? `on Psalms 13. Ang kulit lang kasi, he later declared God's love, saying:

‘5 But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. 6 I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me.’

See! It was a long dark season for David. But amidst David's ‘How Long’ statements, God never left him. And, he was able to end the song with a praise. Sabi nga ni Pastor Rico Villanueva sa isa naming retreat sa Church, God can take us and our complaints (even against Him). Sa karanasan ko, I tend to be very upfront with Him when I'm broken. (Kanino pa ba naman ako lalapit?) But later on, I will realize that I've been like a senseless beast before Him. Nevertheless, He would forgive me and show me how HE never let go of me. At, sabi nga ni Jesus kay Simon,

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.”

-Luke 7:47

Now, If all scripture is God breathed, then even the Psalms that express the brokenness of the human mind (soul) are. And if there are books that expressed being downcast and all, I think it's an invitation to the church to focus on the ministry of presence and pure listening. Job lamented to God after hard boughs of trials. In the book, his friends did not fail to give him the right words. But God rebuked them and counted Job more righteous. He answered the questions with who HE is. And we know that the man was sorry when God met Him. You see, what suffering people need is an encounter with God; not wise words.

Noong bata-bata pa ako, lokohan lang namin na magkakaklase na ang pagpunta sa simbahan ay ‘suicide’ o pagpapakamatay. Going to church services is done so that religious authorities will sign our booklets, or that we will not be counted as ‘absent’ in our ‘Values’ class.

‘Ala! Ay kayo na laang ang pumunta ng simbahan o kaya ay sa labas na laang ako habang misa. Baka ako’y tamaan ng kidlat bago pa makarating sa pintuan.’ - Have you heard of that statement? Maybe you didn't grow up in the traditional faith that I had. Somehow, you must have felt the same exaggeration, that it felt suicide to go to church; specially if you only do it for a religious checklist . How much more for those who were lured that once they come to Christ, they would be depression free and are later judged when they stayed sick? As if the main goal of Christianity is to be well (not that God doesn't want people well, but we have a greater purpose).

I remember, the Apostle Paul when he pleaded the LORD thrice to take what he regarded as a thorn in the flesh for him.

.9 Each time he said, “my grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. -2 Corinthians 12

I mentioned joining an online support group for people with mental illnesses ,from my last blog(https://stripedjar.wixsite.com/salticket2church/babasahin-1/my-one-in-a-million-hugot ).There, I've read so many discouragements received by those people from ‘christians’? Naisip ko, Shouldn't the church be the channel of God's grace to people suffering mental illness, specially those who pleaded with God more than a zillion time that He remove the condition from them?

Sana if you've raised your brow reading the start of this article, by the time you've reached this portion-nakababa na siya ngayon😂✌️. And if you are a family, friend, colleague or churchmate of someone with mental illness - I pray you'd be the church that God intended for him/her. Yung puwede ka'ng umiyak, yung si God yung nadidinig at hindi ang Tagabintang, yung may love na nagcoconvict sa halip na fear. And, if your brows are still raised-Usap tayo! Kilay sa kilay!😂 Este, kapatid sa kapatid.🤗

Until then, I'll keep praying.

We'll flip the coin to the other side soon.

(Next Article- Suicide and The Church)