#AtingSuriin OK Lang Maging Malungkot at Umiyak

‘Kumusta? `

Ipagpalagay na bumagsak ka sa klase, work evaluation o na brokenhearted ka ng bonga (for all reasons possible ) - OK ka lang? Talaga lang ha?

Sabi sa nabasa ko na libro- ‘OK LANG Maging Malungkot at Umiyak’. I had a copy of ‘OK Lang’ series during our church's Sabbath 2018 Young Adults Retreat, where Pastor Rico Villanueva (The writer) was the speaker.

The Hook in The Book

For the reader that I am, one great thing about the book is how it gave justice to a writing principle, ‘Show not Tell’. Punong-puno siya ng mga legit experiences na dadalhin ka sa iba't ibang sitwasyon hangang dulo. Panalo! The writer's background , readings balanced with relevant human stories and observations made the book relatable to all.

This blue book with a cute dog in the cover design, may look like your cute self help book. But wait, there's more! It's jam packed with relevant researches and quotations from great related literatures , including personal situations. And in case, mas maging curious ka on the thoughts presented - sobrang comprehensive ng footnotes section neto. (Although it may not be some people's cup of tea) .

On the other hand, Sa lente ni Salticket2Church, the encouragement of the book is: “It is allowed, for God's children to be ‘Unwell’ by their gracious, loving Heavenly Father; so His church should have a room for them, even until they're well again.”

Having read the book's introduction - sobrang linaw ng gustong i-adress ng libro: the lack of authentic response to tragedy and the lack of space to process negative emotions and memories sa church - resulting to more tragic results.

I personally saw the problems described sa Introduction, with the thrivors whom I tried sharing my eternal hope among my friends ko sa Anxiety and Depression Support Group of the Philippines . Some of them are atheists or agnostics. Malalaman ko na lang- they used to be Christians or ‘dating’ church goer daw. Most of them felt oh so out of place sa loob or worse, the Christians proceeded (with minds unwell - uncontrolled) backsliding and left everything that has to do with Christianity, after being burnt out due to unprocessed pains sa church. I really hope I can grab a copy of this book for each.

‘OK lang daw maging Hindi Ok’.Pero, It's not really encouraging everyone to be down, sad and crying though. Didn't you fall into those categories for now?Then, seeing the biblical perspective in context and true to life examples na OK lang talaga… , it will help you be a better friend to others kung Christian ka. Sabi sa libro, iba-iba ang seasons sa buhay ng tao.Well, mapa-normie (‘normal’ ) o thrivor, dumadaan sa iba't ibang seasons of life, ‘di nga ba? So if you don't find yourself in the faith, OK lang din yan.

Book Rundown

‘Dinala ako ng Diyos sa Psalms…

There I found the voice I was looking for-’

yung pagdaing mula sa kalaliman.’

-Pastor Rico Villanueva

The 1st chapter would help us learn from the lament Psalms-ano ang mga ito, why were they written and why we, modern day Christians should learn from them.Bakit nga naman sila ilalagay sa Bible for nothing?Pastor Rico summarized the message of Lament Psalms (which he expounded on the following chapters) :

*OK lang Ma-Down

*OK lang Maging Malungkot

*OK lang Umiyak

This one in its series, has questions for its last 3 chapters - reflection questions that would allow you to process your learnings and even your feelings in all honesty and transparency. Pero sige daanan muna natin ng mabilis ang mga paborito ko in chapters 2,3 and 4.

Pagkatapos, ilatag ang lugar ng grieving or lamenting sa bibliya. Pastor Rico, first showed what does it mean to be ‘down’ sa 2nd Chapter ng libro (Learning From Lament Psalms).My take away? Totoo yung kasabihang Pilipino na ‘Ang pagsasama ng tapat ay pagsasama ng maluwat.’ The closer we are to God, the more honest we become of how we really feel. And when we pass the season of feeling ‘down’, we will see the God who never left us down. At kitang kita siya sa book from examples of God's servants sa old testament, to the Lord Jesus Himself, up to more recent references.

My favorite part of the book is Chapter 3,OK lang Maging Malungkot. Hindi siya para sa malungkot lang, ha? In fact it's where he described three seasons of life (Orientation, Disorientation at New Orientation). Para mas ma-gets mo, basahin mo yung libro. 😉

During the retreat, I had the privilege of time (and a scenic venue) to look closely to the season I was in- Season of Disorientation. Brokenhearted ang ate mo for ‘hopes deferred ‘(as in madami) . And, even before the retreat - I've been lamenting for them at the feet of Jesus almost everyday. But, as of date, I can say na I'm in the ‘Season of New Orientation’ given renewed and strengthened hope(even for this faith mental health advocacy).And because I was allowed not to be okay, I am sure that not for a moment - God left me.

Now we're down to our final chapter. Sa mga ‘tunay na lalaki’ at ‘big girls’, alam ko sabi nila di kayo umiiyak. Pero nakakapagod yung diversion tactics natin sa pain, di ba? At kung kristyano ka, siguro nag pop-up na ang James 1:2-4,Romans 8:28 at marami pang iba sa ulo mo. Hindi sila, mali guys. Pero katulad ng title ng last chapter, ‘OK Lang Umiyak’.

Gearing to the last pages, I realized that among my friends going through struggles; those who have most control are those who can identify the pain and its source.Personally, I always believed that I can cry in sorrow because of my pain, but I have joy in me because of Jesus, and because of who Jesus is, I am given the space to just cry at times. At least, from all pinoy christian books I've read-this was the first book it was affirmed.

Last Say :

As a Christian Mental Health advocate, I can say that ‘OK Lang Maging Malungkot at Umiyak’ is an out pour of robust theology of suffering, from someone who genuinely experiences His God, even while enduring and enjoying his journey's seasons. And, if by now, hindi pa din obvious - I'm giving it a '5 stars’ for my rating.

For the past two years, I had interactions with a number of well meaning advocates, I observed that the stigma towards faith in the mental health is two way. Because of wounds incurred inside a congregation they called home, many believers who said they love Jesus - thrown with stigma by their faith community, formed stigma towards the whole Body of Christ- hindi na sila nagsimba. And, to me; this book can show them what an (eternal) Family on earth ought to be, show them God is doing something in His people and will keep being faithful to change ‘The Church’ to glory. Sobrang laki pa ng leg work, pero the fact that this is God's work- ‘Laban lang.’ Ang bait ni Boss, `no? Puwede tayong umiyak.